Wala akong maisip na i-post. grabe lang.

 Bakit di pa aminin ang hindi mo maamin. Ipauubaya nalang ba ito sa hangin. Wag mong ikatakot ang bulong ng damdamin mo. Naririto ako nakikinig sayo.  wohuuu wohuuu wohuhu huhu. :D woohuhu woohuhu wohuhu huhuhu.

tenetengteng tenengteng tenengteng. tenetengteng tenengteng tenengteng.


 Ang drama ng lola mo ngayon! Nakikita mo ba? May printscreen ako ng cellphone screen ko. And related siya sa title ng post ko today. Today is April 21, 2012. Buong araw na naman kami mag katext. And an hour ago, nag online siya sa FB at nag status, "Hindi mo man SOLO ang INBOX ko, pero nakakasigurado akong ikaw lang ang laman ng SENT ITEMS ko........."


Ako kaya yun? I wonder. I hope so.

WATIZZDAMININGOFDIZZ?  Today is April 20, 2012. Three months ago, a girl marked April 20 2012 on her  calendar with a heart sign. Why? Of course she was expecting something to happen this day! January 20, 2012 was a date. A date or 'like a date' with a guy she really like. It was then their second 'like a date'. Hours ago that day, someone texted her about a Fireworks Display to be held at their province. She was so excited to see it because she really love to see fireworks since it was so rare for her to see one. But she thought of maybe, she might experience it with the guy she really like. She awkwardly asked the guy then, "Will you accompany me to the Fireworks Display Event on April 20?" the guy replied, "SURE." The girl's face was filled with joy. She was like flying when she heard the 'sure' word. Then, she went home. She's carrying that big smile that is worthless. A money can't buy her happiness. She marked her calendar with a heart sign on April 20, 2012. 

Many things happened between them. Some things changed. Some things improved (like her feelings for that guy), but still, their friendship is getting stronger. It was almost April! She never forget that special day. She always daydream about what could happen on that day. She was expecting that it will be the most unforgettable moment of her life. It will be like a fairytale. It will be like a love story that has no ending. It will be. It will be, maybe, she hoped so. 

Time flies. It wasn't that easy for her to calm down while waiting for that day. But she has lose her hope because there was something bad that happened. She and the guy was talking on the phone. They had some little argument or some misunderstanding. She was in tears but the guy didn't knew. She asked the guy, "Will you still come with me to that Fireworks Display Event?" the guy replied, "I don't know." She was crying soundless and she said, "Then I'll go by my own." the guy replied, "Don't go alone. Please. It's dangerous. If you want to come, you should ask for someone to come with you." She was hurt, maybe, because she is still crying soundless. She said, "Because I thought you'd come with me. But it's okay. Are you coming alone too? Or you'll be with someone?" he said, "I'll be with someone." She cried again, but this time, she's crying like a baby. The guy asked, "Are you crying? Why are you crying?" she just laughed in disguise and said, "No I'm not. I got cold. Oh wait. I'll call someone." toot toot. She ended the call. But the pain doesn't end. She ask herself, "Why does it have to hurt this way?" Because she marked the date on her calendar! Duh!

A week after. She was freshen up by a week-long activity she attended. She's blessed. She's changed. She realized many things. She has accepted things that are impossible to happen. Things like HE<3s HER thingy. And she received a message from the guy. Actually, the guy never stopped sending some messages to her. Since the week-long activity is almost done, she replied. "How are you?" Since then, they didn't noticed that everything are back into place. April 20 is a week away. But she's not hoping her expectations to happen. She thought of going alone. Will she? NO! Because she was so loyal. Since that guy said that she can't go alone, she will not go. 

The marked date with a heart on her calendar came, April 20, Friday. She texted the guy, "You take care on going to that Fireworks Display Event later! God bless you!" the guy replied, "I think I'm not going?" You know what the girl felt? SHE'S HAPPY! AND SHE DON'T KNOW WHY. She asked, "Why? I thought you'll be coming with someone?" The guy replied, "I'm not sure, I feel so tired." She was then relaxed. She looked at the heart sign mark on her calendar and said, "Will you still happen?" 

It's almost night. Since the guy decided not to come, she didn't come too. She received a message on her phone, "Hey. I'll go to the Fireworks Display Event. I'm sorry I didn't come with you." She replied, "It's okay. You take care. God Bless! Tell me how it feels later." Then a tear drops. Although she didn't know who's with him. If it is some of his friends or a girl, she just assumed. Maybe someone held his hands while watching it. Maybe They were so happy watching it together. All her expectations happened, maybe, to him, but with other girl. Well, she just assumed that. She didn't really know who's with him. And now, she's sitting  alone, typing this EPIC story while watching "Walang Hanggan" and searching some fireworks video on Youtube just to let herself be happy, just for once. 

Maybe you wouldn't understand how she feels right now, but let me tell you, she was not really hurt. She just expected some things that didn't really happen. And honestly, she knew this would happen. One thing for sure, she was not crying while typing this. She's smiling right now. :)
And she would like to thank you for reading this. And hey! There are still FIREWORKS on NEW YEAR'S EVE. :))) She just have to patiently wait. 

God bless!

Hello! :) HAHA. Ang saya ko lang ngayon. Hindi ko ma-express masiyado. LOL.

Okay. ganito yan. Nagtext sya! "Kala ko ba Zelle magloload ka?" HALAAAA. Oo nga. Kaso wala akong pero. #iyakNalangAko? HAHA. Ayun. Kinailangan ko pa mag dilihensiya para lang magkapera. LOL. Hanggang nagload nadin ako. Ang saya lang. Kasi Nagkatext ulit kami ng sobrang tagal. Katulad ng dati. yung hindi nawawalang ng topic. Basta. Ang saya. Bumalik kami sa dati ng hindi namin namamalayan. Sana napansin niya din yun.

So. As you can see, office guy yung nasa tabi. Let's assume na siya yan. hehe. Kasi, he'll be applying sa work tom. At guess kung saan? sa pang-asar na mall, SM CALAMBA! Dun n=lang naman kasi ang mall na kapag pumupunta ako, How deep is your love ang tugtog. Siya kasi bali ang naaalala ko sa kantang yun. Eh nagkataon naman na EMO-emohan ako kapag nagpupunta ako sa SM. LOL.  Ayun. so dun na nga siya mag aapply. Let's claim na matatanggap siya HEHE. Ang saya lang. Simula sa pag-gagawa niya ng thesis, defense, OJT, gradiation requirements, graduation practice, graduation, at ito, pag-aapply niya ng work nasubaybayan ko na pala! ME ALREADY! HAHA. So ayun nga, I pray na matanggap agad siya dahil may usapan lang naman kami noon na sa unang sweldo niya, "ililibre niya ako" hahahahaha.

#goodVibes ngayon nuh? Sana lagi ganito. Ang saya lang. Na-feel ko ulit yung JOY na makausap siya. tenkyu! <3

Ito pa ang conve na pamatay

Him: Attractive ba sa babae ang lalaking matangkad?
Me: Yup. para sa akin, turn on yun.
Him: Talaga. may nag-GM lang sakin, yung ang tanong.
Me:  Syempre, para sa maliliit na babaeng katulad ko, hilig namin ang matatangkad. shus!
Him: ehem ehem..haha
Me: May ubo ka ba? HAHA
Him: oo. May gamot ke be jen? penge naman
Me: Oo. meron. ito! ----> <3
Him: akana?. hhehe
Me: Oo. ayan. <3 hehe
Him: Puso mo ang gamot?
Me: hahaha. korting puso ang yung gamot. ekew telege! HAHA

goodnight na nga. me jogging pa tom. di naman ako pumapayat. LOL
God Bless! Isama niyo naman po sa prayer ang YATZ ko. SALAMAT!
muamua! <3 <3 <3

"And it's almost a week
when that hurtful heartache happened
I had no choice, I have to let go
But I am not that strong
You're still in my heart
You're still on my thoughts
But all I can promise is
I am now on the process of moving on"

May mga bagay talaga na kailangan natin tanggapin. Kung naaalala mo, noon sabi ko, "I'm afraid to lose him." Now, I almost lost him. I just can't remember how'd it happened. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan ko maging ganito. Basta ang alam ko, nalulungkot ako sa kinahantungan namin. Pero masaya ako kasi magkaibigan kami.

Last Tuesday night sa Camp, nagmessage yung Uncle kong Pastor. Grabe lang. tamang tama ako sa message. sabi dun, "Natanung mo na ba sa sarili mo na, BAKIT KUNG SINO PA ANG MAHAL MO YUNG PA YUNG NANANAKIT SAYO?" ouch! aray! ang sakit talaga. tapos dinugtong pa si Pastor, "Pero si Lord lang ang tanging magmamahal sayo na hindi ka sasaktan!" TAMA! Then he continued sa message niya. May nasabi dun ni Pastor na, "Di ba pag mahal mo sinusunod mo kung anong gusto niya?" Ako naman, "Opo! tama po yan. Amen!" kasi naalala ko, sabihin lang niyang uminom ako ng gamot, iinom na ako. Sabihin lang niyang matulog na ako, matutulog na ako. Sinabi lang niyang wag akong kakain ng bawa, hindi na ako kakain ng bawal. Sabihin lang siyang maging magkaibigan nalang kami, tinanggap ko ng buong puso kahit gaano kasakit. Ayun. Tapos dinugtong pa ni Pastor, "Eh diba mahal mo si Lord, bakit di mo sundin kung anong gusto Niya para sa'Yo?" ARAY LALO! Siguro alam ng uncle ko yung nararanasan ko ngayon. Super relate eh! Pero alam kong NO na talaga ang sagot ng LORD sa prayer ko. Nakikipagtalo lang ako. Pinagpipilitan ko sa Lord sa YES. Pero hindi talaga. The Lord's way is always right. I know. Ayan. Ni confirm sakin ng LORD na NO talaga ang sagot Niya. Masakit man na tanggapin, alam kong mas maganda ang way ng LORD. Mas better. at The BEST!

Nasa proseso ako ng pag move on. Kinakaya ko na hindi siya itext madalas. Minsan ko nalang siya isipin. At unti-unti, natatanggap ko na ang mga pangyayari. Mahirap man, pero alam kong kakayanin toh. Ako pa!

Pero I can't say goodbye. We're still good friends. Takot padin ako humantong kami dun sa point na "strangers" nalang kami. Hindi pwede yun. hehe

Oh. This heartache. Ang dami ko padin natututunan hanggang ngayon. Ang dami kong narerealize. Ang galing talaga ni Lord <3 The best talaga Sya!

Anyways. Salamat po sa pagsubaybay ng storya ko kasama si Jerick Ordoveza Cabantog. Sana na-enjoy niyo. :) Pero, hindi natin alam. Baka hindi pa dito nagtatapos ang lahat! :)

HAHA. God Bless!

He came into my life

"So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I'd go back to DECEMBER all the time."

Mag-hapon magdamag, paulit-ulit sa utak ko yan. Naiinis lang ako. Kasi naaalala ko yung mga araw na sinulat ko yung sulat ko sa kanya na ipinasa ko naman sa GEARS at nai-publish naman sa buong campus at nabasa naman niya. ANUBAH!


Minsan tinatanong ko na ang sarili ko, "Anu ba itong nararamdaman ko para sa kanya?" Kasi malinaw naman sa akin na mag-kaibigan kami ah? Wala dapat akong dahilan para maguluhan. tsktsk.

Ngayong gabi nga pala, sinundo ulit namin si papa sa airport. :) Umuwi ulit si papa after 3 months. Ang bilis di ba? Tapos ayun. Nag-unli call kasi tapos nagtawagan kami ni Jerick. KASE! kausap ko lang naman siya simula Alabang hanggang Lumban. Ewan ko ba kung ano-ano ang mga pinag-uusapan namin. So far so good. Kasi open na ako kay mama about sa kanya. So here it goes. Habang nag-uusap kaming dalawa sabi niya,Naikwento niya yung about sa pagpunta niya sa ibang bansa. Mejo naiiyak nga ako (iyakin ko talaga) kasi parang ang bilis kung pupunta agad siya dun. Tapos sabi ko, "Walang unli call dun." sabi niya, "Okay lang yun kahit mga isang taon hindi mo ako makausap. Di ba?" Tapos nag segway nalang ako sabi ko, "Bili ka nalang ng laptop pag unang sweldo mo." tapos bigla siyang tumawa. Alam kong na-gets niya ang ibig kong sabihin. Then bigla siyang nagtanong,  "Panu pag?" tapos hindi niya maituloy. Hanggang nasabi nadin niya siguro after 30 minutes. sabi niya, "Pano pag nagkaGF na ako?"..natigilan ako dun. kung wala lang siguro ako sa sasakyan nun at kung hindi ko lang kasama sina mama nun, sasabihin ko sa kanya, "May nililigawan ka na nuh?" Pero hindi ko  maitanong. So hinintay ko na makauwi ako sa lumban para maitanong ko sa kanya yun. AYAN na. Nasa bahay na ako. Sabay tanong ko sa kanya, "May nililigawan ka na nuh?" Sabi niya, "Wala huh.", "Bakit mo tinanong sa akin yun? BAkit sakin?" , "WAla lang. Natanong ko lang." sabi ko nalang, "Sige. Wala naman kasi yun sakin eh kung may maging GF ka. Ayos nga un. Pero hindi ko din alam pupunta nalang ako ng Korea." , "Hahanapin mo si Lee Min ho?", "Oo papakasal na ako sa kanya." , "HAHA.", "Pero meron nga? Kasi kung meron bakit ako ang tinatawagan mo? Ako ang lagi mong tinetext? Ako ang Niyayaya mo sa ministop? Ako ang nililibre mo? Bakit ganito ka sakin?" tapos siya...*speechless* IMBA!!!!
*Kasi naman. Kung alam mo lang kung sino ang tinutukoy kong Lee Min Ho.* Tapos hanggang magka gudnightine na din kami. "BYE!"

then, I get online...nabasa ko sa wall, puro siya nalang lumabas, "Sayang..." tapos may isa pa, "Sayang meron ka na" ANO YON!!!!? So I can feel that girl's instinct. Na meron nga siyang nililigawan. Pero bakit ganito siya sa akin? It's so confusing. IYAK NALANG AKO. Ang sakit pala. Ito na nga. Instinct palang toh pero nasasaktan na ako. O_O Ang hirap mag-panggap ano? Natanong pa kasi siya sa akin, "Paano pag ikakasal na ako?" sabi ko, "Syempre iinvite mo ako. Kakanta pa ako sa kasal mo kakantahin ko yung forevermore. Tapos aalis agad ako, pupunta ako ng KOREA."

Isa kasi sa pinakamahirap na maramdaman eh yung malaman mong effort na effort ka na mahalin yung taong yun tapos siya pala effort na effort din magmahal ng iba TSKTSK. anubeh. EMO AKO NGAYON. andami ko padin tanong. Bakit ba kasi kailangan namin maging ganito? Naguguluhan na ako. :(

END. O_O